正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;能较灵活地使用部分学术词汇,有基础拼写错误,需要注意一下;过渡词和衔接词使用欠丰富,层次欠清晰。
Nowadays,many products have the phenomenon of excessive packaging.Often we just find a small number of things inside the excessive packaging.The followings are the reasons. Obviuosly,it is the competition among the businessmen that cause excessive packaging.Most of the sellers believe that the excessive packaging which can attract consumers' attention is a good way to make more profit.Owing to this attitude,excessive packaging begins overflowing at the market.However,the most important reason is the mind of consumers.Excessive packaging products seem to be a sign of luxury.The wrong mind leds a wrong produce. In my opinion,excessive packaging is unnecessary.Even worse,it may cause environment pollution.So excessive packaging must be banned.The businessmen should produce reasonable packaging products.By doing this we can achieve sustained development.