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作者词汇表达较多样灵活，也能较准确地使用学术词汇；可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用。
With the development of the economy of society,people life's quality has been well-guaranteed.Based on it,more and more people are spending lots of money in art education.Some people hold the view that children need art education at their ages,on the contrary,but others claim that art education is not necessary for children because the school's art classes are totally enough for us. As far as I am concerned,art education plays an important role in children's growth.The reasons are as below.To begin with,an outstanding student should not only be good at studying but also learn how to enjoy life.Art education will both give students eyes to find the beauty of life and encourage their creativity in their jobs later.Secondly, in the contemporary world, our government is reforming an educational system by advocating for education for integrated development,which is replacing traditional education.Therefore,art education meets the need of the pace of reforming educational system.Last but not least,art education is also aimed at developing human civilization.On the way of developing economy of the society,we'd better also not ignore chasing for high quality of life. To sum up,art education is essential for both children and the society.And investment in art is the precondition of advancing education.So,we should call for more and more people highlight the importance of art education.
