作者词汇基本功不错,建议今后多用学术词汇;能够很好的使用长难句且句法很棒;文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词,结构比较严谨;请注意分段。
In recent years,humans is facing a big problem now,environmental pollution which is becoming more and more serious ,and now it has been exerting profound influence on the way we live,work,play and learn.There is no doubt that this problem should be given deep consideration.To account for the above-mentioned phenomenon,several serious effects have been put forward.To begin with,environmental pollution not only results does harm to our physical and mental health but also results in a frustrating and humiliating life.In addition,nothing is more harmful than environmental pollution to contradict with a harmonious society.Last but not the least,no issue is as harmful as environmental pollution to increase family burdens,which is a threatening situation we are unwilling to see.No better illustration of this idea can be thought than the example mentioned below.According to a survey made by China Daily,63.93% of young people who have ever experienced environmental pollution will live a dull life or even feel loss of hope about the future.If we can’t take useful means, we may not control this trend,and some undesirable results may come out unexpectedly,we will see the gloomy future of something.From what have been discussed above,it is therefore,necessary that some effective measures are taken to prevent environmental pollution. On the one hand,we should be sensible to strengthen the enforcement of the laws to protect something.On the other hand,it is demanding for us to keep people aware of the importance of environmental saving somebody out of the evil hands of destruction.However,it is easier said than done.Although the fight against it is long-standing and tremendous one,our efforts will eventually pay off.Only when you attention to it can you see a colorful and harmonious future better sooner or later.