文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;作者词汇表达的灵活性要加强,且注意拼写错误;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
most readers believe that a strong will are familiar with the sucess.with peopple having more believe if some want to sucess who had make someone dream come true and a better life.a strong will has become very popular again in recent years .of the various benefits of sucess, it is generally agreed that sucess is both relaxing and educational. a strong will can complete the great mission and make people live a better life. the benrfisits of a strong will have log recognized.people should study hard and become a useful person in the future.