拼写很棒,可适当增加学术词汇的使用;作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
welcome to China.As a foreigner,you may not be familiar about China,so let me show you something interesting about my hometown. Located in the center of jiangxi province,Nanchang is a hero city in history.Nanchang has many beautiful places you can visit.But I would like to take you to BaYi Square.It's a very common place known by local people.why I choose to take you here? As you know,a place'beauty is not only for its attractive appearance but also related to the historic cultural.Nanchang has long history of revolution,therefore as the center of Nanchang-BaYi Square ,has its special meaning which is different from other places.BaYi Square is as same as other big square,there has many entertainments meeting the old and the children needs.Equipped with many advanced equipment,BaYi Square is more like a moderate place. I'm sure the beautifui scenery here would give you a big surprise.Come to visit it .You won't regret it.