可适当增加长句和复杂句的使用;作者词汇表达丰富度较高,就是学术词汇用的太少;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
Nowadays, people's livng standard has been greatly improved so people tend to enjoy their life. Meanwhile, many rare diseases can be seen on people's daily life.In my opinion, the best way to keep health is not only to do some exercise or have a balanced diet. both of them should be do. Along with the advancement of society, more and more problems are brought to our attention, one of which is health. Several reasons are accountable for this pheonmenon. Firstly, with cars cheaper and cheaper, people tend to buy cars to replace walking and bicycles. As time goes by, people's calories become more and more so a variety od diseases become ubiquitous. Beaides, more and more rich make people become better off ao people's diet turn to abundant.Many unhealthy food make people feel uncomfortable.Last but not least, many people make the busy on their work as an excuse and ignore the exercise. For me, there is no way to keep health but to do exercise and keep a balanced diet.Everything should be persisted. If someone can insist on one thing, he will be a successful man including keeping health.