- 分享到:
文中词汇表达较丰富恰当，但学术词汇稍显不足；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Each place has its own beauty. Especially China, as a big country, it has different appearances. My hometown, LanZhou, which is located in the middle of the China's land map, shows its civilization and kindness all day and night. If you come to visit LanZhou, I will take you to see the Yellow River which flows through the whole city and cultivate the people around it. What's more, along the Yellow River there are amount of waterwheels. These waterwheels consists some museum parks, which serve the visitors to get a command of them. Different shapes of waterwheels have their own usage. What the most interesting is that you can play with the waterwheels on your own. As far as I conerned, LanZhou gives so many people good impression. Not only its beautiful appearance, but also the feeling of kind and pleasing. So you will be pleasure of your visit in LanZhou.
