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句式变化多样；作者词汇使用较为丰富熟练，单词拼写方面要更仔细；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Dear principle, I’m writing to tell you about the discussion we’ve had about whether a mobile phone should be brought to school. Nowadays,more and more people used mobile phone,But it becomes a phenomenonthat students used mobile phone increasingly in the school,It arouse a stir among the public,Wehether students should brought a mobile phone to school? Some students think about that it is necessary，Because it can helps student comminucate with their parents when they have something of emergency happened,And now,In some waies mobile phone as a tool can help them learn more about knowledge.While others don't think so,They think that students use mobile phone immoderately should effect their studying,In addition,It will increases their economic burdens. As i am concerned,I think students should be prohibited bringing mobile phone to shcool,We should keep the students within a certain old discipline,Building a good environment in school. Yours sincerely, Li Hua
