句式变化较为不错,另外需加强句子练习;作者词汇积累很好,不过单词拼写方面要继续努力;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
is is vital to educate students to obey the traffic rules.in our daily life , when the rtaffic lighs is green we could across the street and say goodbye to our parents.moreover,whe we left the classroom, we should mahe sure all the lights are turn off.bedides we should be save energy as mush as possible and use green energn for make a living.everuone can be better and better if she has a deam znd tries his best to realised it