可适当增加几条从句;学术词汇偏少,且文中有部分拼写错误;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
Nowadays,we are all live in the life which has a wealth of information around us.In dispite of the informtion explosion,to some extents,a lot of expers think it can also creat a poverty of attention. In my opinion,the words said by them may be very reasonable.It is the truth that almost every person,especially people who live in inner cities,is able to gain as much information as they want by surfing the Internet,watching TV,reading books and so on.But among all these information,much unhealthy news or even some fake information and rumors can also be mixed in it.So it's no wonder why such a great information explosion can lead to a proverty of attention. In brief,the information explosion really has the advantage and the disadvantage.In order to conquer the problem,we should be careful and thought for at least 3 times befor we get any news and then our lives can be more and more wonderful.