文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
In this moment,more and more children's life were arranged by their parents.In the same world their future is set in stone.Even though children won't follow what their parents said.But most of them finally knuckled under because of the great pressure from their parents.But things is going to south.They is lost their own thinking manner step by step.And they are used to rely on their parents.Without their parent they can't do anything. Their future is like a pie in the sky. If you really want you child get a good future.Parents should let child arrange life by themselves.Everyone should shouts the stars by ourselves.So let the nature take its course. Then they are going to set the world on fire.