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作者句法不错，但是文章整体句子稍微偏短；文章词汇使用比较恰当，学术词汇积累不足；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Dear principle, I’m writing to tell you about the discussion we’ve had about whether a mobile phone should be brought to school.Opinions were devieded on this matter. The seven tenth students were against.All of them thought that mobile phone was unnecessary which would also avoid students to concentrate on their study.Moreover,there was no doubt that it was mobile phone that brought economic burdens to parents. But the rest of my classmates were favor of it.They supported bringing a mobile phone to school .As the society has developed in these years ,and the school shouldn't keep the students within a certain old discipline.What's more,they also pointed students should have the phone turned off at class. That's all of our discussion.It would be an honor for me if you can learn something from it. I hope you can find the blance and make a good decision. Yours sincerely, Li Hua
