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能够很好的使用长难句且句法很棒；作者词汇基础不错，学术词汇使用比较灵活；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用。
In this argument, the arguer concludes that the Saluda school should hire Mr.Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for entire Saluds school system. To support this conclusion, the arguer point out that during the time Mr. Charles Schade was the music director at Steel City High School, the school band from Steel City High has won three regional band competitions. In addition, the argue reasons that the quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instrments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years. However, this argument suffers several critical fallacies. First, the argument is based on a false analogy. Although Mr. Charles Schade has brought the Streel City High School much glory, it dosen't mean he will bring the same effective execution to Saluda school and make it success too. Because the places of these two schools located are different, it is entirely possible that the music atmosphere in Steel City is better than that in the town of Saluda; even music has become part of the Streel City people's life. Moreover, is the fact past representative enough to show that Mr. Charles Schade will continue be keen on that kind of music competition. So the author should take both place and time into account before making the final conclusion. Second, the arguer commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. The argument lacks more specific information about how much effort Mr. Charles Schade has offered during the reginal band competitions and what he has done to the whole band. In another word the author fails to establish the relationship between Mr.Schade and the outstanding success of the Steel City High School band. So it cannot convince us that Mr. Charle contributes good mark of music band. Another flaw that weakens the logic of the argument is that the arguer didn't take other reasons into account. The author fails to rule out the fact that winning in the regional competitions three times cannot fully conclude the performance of this band is outstanding too. Further more, we can get no imformation of the achievement of the school of town of Saluda, maybe it have taken part in some larger scope competition and more successful than that of Steel City High School. Before I come to my concludion, it is necessary to point out another flaw in the argument. The quality of the music rehearsal facilities and musical instruments at Steel City High has improved markedly over the past five years cannot indicate clear relationship associated with Mr. Charles. In conclusion, the arguer fails to establish a causal relationship between Mr Charles and the success of Steel City School. Without further analysis, to hire Mr. Schade to plan and direct the general music education programs for the entire Saluda school system is still in boubt.
