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作者词汇表达比较灵活多变，尤其是学术词汇使用较恰当；作者应适量增加从句的使用量；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少；请注意分段。
We all know that the extracurricular activities are plays an vital role in study career.However,the project has been neglected for many years.And in my opinion,the school's management should pay more attention to urge this important project's development.The reasons are mainly as follows: First at all,college years is a period of essential time in our life,it should be varied,unforgettable and colorful.And extracurricular activities are a basic aspect of it.So we should not only devote ourselves to the learning but also should spend some of spare times to do some exercises,which not only contributes to be healthy but also good to keep our brain's energy.What's more,taking extracurricular activities regularly is an effective way to enrich our college life.We can acquire a lot those we can learn in the class,it is very helpful to increase our abilities. To sum up,extracurricular activities are as important as academic knowledges,so we should put them on the save place and try to do the best.As a result of that,our college life will be more significant.
