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可适当增加复合句和从句的使用；作者词汇表达较丰富，学术词汇需继续加强，拼写检查要重视；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
In today's business world,manufacuturers are used to use advertising to let everybody know more about their particular products,so that they can sale more products.Many people have their own views on advertising,some people think it will brings benefits to us,but others don't think so.And in my opinion,advertising not just simple as its shows,we must be wise when we look it. Why I say so much like that?There are some of my views about advertisements.First of all,this is a world fill with informations and we need information to make sure ourselves will not be old-fashion.Advertising can provide many informations about the products to us,and we can acquire a lot informations we need from that,so that our lives can be more convenient.However,we should also realize that many manufacturers delibeately offer something wrong to us in order to sale their products.As a result of that,a lot of people were misled by them,and it alos led to a faith panic.It cause a negative influence on the society. To sum up,advertisements is not only can offer some convenience for we,but also could bring we into a terrible situation.To avoid cheated by them,all of us must be sensible to deal with it.
可可英语 - 划词释义
