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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
Nowadays,with the development of society that the life of humman being have improved more quickly, at the same time the computer was widely used by men. Therefore, The internet was used by men too. It is important that the internet is very convenient and does not waste our more time on the road. Shopping online has become to a trend on our daily life. I like shopping on online too. So many things can be purchased on the internet, for example:books,toys,clothes,foods ect. Therefore, more and more people has joined in this party. It is so widely popular. Of course, online shopping also take mose questions to us. Because they are unreal store on the internet. Most people know it Taobao or Tmao,if you enter a believable shop,you can buy right things,but if you enter in a unbelievable shop,you maybe purchase fake things. On my opinions,It is very important that we are must choose credible stores and make out reasonable judgment.On my opinions,It is very important that we are must choose credible stores and make out reasonable judgment.
