雅思写作范文:手机与因特网

如若增加一些长难句的使用，会为文章添彩；文中能较好的使用一些学术词汇，不过拼写错误比较多；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少；请注意分段。

with the ever wider use of the internet,online shopping is growing tremendously .people can buy almost everything on the internet ranging from foods boooks clothing to furniture. the most important advantages of onlibe shoppping is its convemnience.it allows consumere to shop at home with 24 hours access and savetime traveling to retail stores.also ,consumers can exchange information online through chatting and discussion forums to help them make wiser and beeter decision.but it has disadvantages as well.privacy and security are the top concern of consumers .many consumers are worried about credit and frauds and the use of their infomation for other purpoose