作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;文中词汇表达不够丰富,学术词汇方面要多累积;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
Nowadays more and more people use the Internet for study ,shopping ,and many other things.Some people tend to shopping online ,while others worry that it might not safety.In my opinion ,it is convenience for us to shopping on the Net. The Internet is good for our college students.First ,shopping on the Net is quickly.Because the post is very quickly,we can receive our goods in short time .Second,shopping on the Net is cheaper than street shops.When you want to buy a little object,the best choice is shopping online,it is always cheaper and can help you save much money.Thirdly,goods on Net is variety ,you can choose what you like best .Last but not least,it can save your time and avoid wandering on the street. In a word ,shopping on the Net is very hepleful for us ,and it will become more and more popular among people.