文中应适当增加从句和长难句的使用;不能熟练使用过渡词,基本没有衔接词;作者词汇使用较为丰富熟练,单词拼写方面要更仔细;连词使用偏少。
Yesterday, in the class meeting, our teacher told us one thing sadly that our classmate Lihua was injured in an accident. We felt pity and the truth that our final exam is around the corner. Our class is a family, and we should help each other and let no one fall behand. The most important things are the cost of the treat and the study. Aim at relieving the stress of finacial problem, students and teachers in our school hold a donation aciticity to help him. The totally money we have gathered is engouh to pay the next cost. And for me, I took part in the help gourp voluntarily to help Lihua's study. I felt worm very much in my deeply inner and the feeling of this kind of interpersonal relationship makes me happy and lets me have more energe!