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文中词汇表达较丰富恰当，但学术词汇稍显不足；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
My good friend is Ping,She is a beautiful girl with long hair,clear eyes.I have been friend with her for twenty-three years.We come from the same place. She was my primary school classmate and middle school classmate,We were not separated until we went to high school! Nobody can replaces her that who gives me so much memories and happiness in my student-hood.I can not remember every thing that happened between us.But I can not forget that day the first time I saw her! When I was seven years old my father took me to the primary school, I cried all the way.I did not like to go to school because my sister told me I would lose freedom,Suddently,I saw a girl with a smile face coming to me. She looked like as old as me, And with a bag on her back, wore a dress, looked very cute! She asked me why I was so sad,After I told her the cause, She took my hands and said I would not be alone, She could been a good friend with me! Very luckily, When we got to school we been classmate. Since then,We went to school together,And left school together!We found that we have so many the same hobbies,Both of us like singing,Reading.Our favourite fruit is banana,Color is red! Ping is a very nice and smart girl.She would likes to help anyone.And she studied very hard, She was always assigned to be our monitor! But when we took college entrance examination she was ill, She did not went to the university which she long for!It became the most pity thing in her life and impact her! She wanted to be a physician, but She became a teacher! She is a mother now, We has so littler time can saw each other, But We miss each other!
