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可适当增加复合句和从句的使用；作者能较好的使用一些学术词汇，同时要避免个别拼写错误；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
THE importance of keeping a good mood with the development of society and technology, people have to be used to the busy life and experience high pressure. according to some surveys, more and more people have mental problem to some degree. many famous people even commit suicide because of high pressure,here is the question, how can we keep mental health under current soceity situation. first of all, I reckon that we should learn to accept ourselves. many people like to pursuit perfect life. some students always want to get the first place no matter how difficult the thing is. people are thirsty to prove themselves when they are at work. once they cann't reach perfection, they will feel upset and diasappointed. so, in my opinion,we should know ourselves well and aceept our weakness , and try best but not to strict on ourselves, then you will find life is more pleased. secondly, we should have close contact with our families and friends, people all need to share their happiness and sorrows with others, when you feel lonely or depressed, we ought to turn to our best friends for help, and you needn't to be feel shamed because they are willing to listen to us. most people feel better after communication with their friends about thier problem and more easier to be optimistic. All in all, keeping happy is really a critical thing in our life. it's unavoidable to come across trouble in our daily life. what's most important is that we need to learn how to keep positive attotude and peaceful mood.
