文章用词灵活多样,学术词汇使用也比较准确;使用了部分简单的长难句,可适当增加一些复杂的长句;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
Not only did the growing gap of wealth emerge between people, but it also happened between the countries.The sufferings of people in poor countries have raised a controversy about what is the most effective way to help those countries. My view is that though financial aid is a way to help the poor,it is definitely not the best way and have a great many drawbacks. The root of the advent of widening gap is the development of new technology. In this day and age, it is an era of knowledge-based economy,one who is diligent and can capitalise on this knowledge will eventually prevail.If the poor countries only get money instead of new technology, they can only be poor continuously and other countries need to continue providing them financial aid. During these efforts, nothing has been changed. It is just a vicious circle. On the other hand, whether the financial aids from other countries can really spend on people who really need them rather than filling the pockets of local corrupt politicians is a question as well. So the government should also pay attention to the usage of the money and spend money on supervising the politicians. It is money-consuming and has an awfully limited effect. Even though the money will not be spent on unnecessary stuff, they can also be wasted due to lack of technologies. For instance, if the government cannot find a suitable way to establish free infrastructures, those aids can be consumed by all kinds of construction failures. By contrast, if poor countries are provided modern technologies, it can really make a difference. They can make a fortune by developing their own major industry or exporting cash crops and artefacts. And the natural resources can be utilised effectively for that the productivity of the country can be improved so they can use minimum sources and produce maximum products. Moreover the rich countries can also help the rich one train experts in some key areas if they can. In summary, there are many ways to help poor countries better than giving them money directly which is a way more likely to be indirect. Because the main problem is the development of technology.