作者词汇表达丰富度要继续提升,学术词汇使用过少;可适当增加从句和长句的使用;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段。
As we all realize,safety is extremely important.As far as I am concede,school safety is must be alarm,Then,How to improve school safety,Let us follow these tips to protect our life. First,we should add many security guard in campus.Children must know about something safety.Secondly,present should meet children when after school.It goes without saying that present should not ignore children life.