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句法知识不错，多多加强复杂句的练习；作者词汇表达不够丰富，另外要仔细检查词汇的拼写；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
my hometown is beautyful if i have a foreign friende ,he want to visit myhometown i will take him to the SongHuajiang of my hometown. my hometown all is well ,but i think the best and the repleasest place is there .when the day is sunny ,we can go for a see ,and then we can have a good feel. in spring ,the ground full of vigour.we can go camping withe our famliy. in summer,the floweris blowing.we can admire the beauty of flowers. in autumn,the air was fresh.we can go SongHuajiang for a walk. in winter,the SongHuajiang was freeze.we can go skating. so i will take him to there ,i want to have a foreign friend as soon as possible.
