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能较灵活地使用部分学术词汇，有基础拼写错误，需要注意一下；若增加一些从句的使用，文章会取得更好的成绩；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
As i saw the news in newspaper which shocked me,as we attend to college for learning knowledge that intersets ourself,which means we would find what is our goal in our life and the experiences and learning of college would build ourselves in the future.So i figure the students should keep their eyes on study instead of going in for business. First of all,in China,as we go to a company for getting a job,the people in charge of company would view your grade of college.If you are devoted to running their business instead of study.How you could get a better grade without focus on your study?It is obviously impossible. Secondly,I think what we choose of major could interests us,since that why do not we focus on what interests us?Most of people go in for business just for develop a ability in this field.We maybe need it or not.Anyway the important things is does it interest you?If it is,then just do it. After all,going in for business is a good thing in you life but not in college,it will take your much time to run it.The reason that why we attend colloge is learning not others.
