词汇表达较灵活准确,学术词汇使用过少,另外注意文中个别的拼写错误;可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
happiness is not he absence of problems ,but the ability to deal with them .yes ,l think so .if a person's life is all smooth,l think he will lose lots of happiness .let me share my experience . in my junior schooldayes ,my english was serious because of my hate of the english teacher,so when l at the last year of my junior l was worried about my english .if l wanted to go to a good university, l must improve my score of my english ,so l tended to do something to save my english. so l made a plan and did it step by step .at the beginning l felt it was a nightmare so that l began to drop hair.but success belongs to the persevering .a month later,studying english everyday is my one of the habits .at last ,l get a good scorein the college entrance examination. l think i am a winner l think,the process to overcome the difficulty is very happy and we can learn many thing when we are in difficulte ,and that is a wealth of my life.