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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；作者句法基础不错，可适当增加复杂句的使用；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
According to a recent survey that there are 50% teenagers don’t have breakfast in Beijing. It is common that many students stay up at night,and not having breakfast can save a lot of for sleeping. And some parents are to busy to prepare breakfast for their children,which makes them give money to let their children buy breakfast by themselves.But many students just save the money to buy the things they want instead of having breakfast.Even worse,many girls don’t have breakfast so that they can become thinner. Unfortunately,the result is that not having breakfast cause students want to sleep all day long,be absent-minded and fail the exams. Since the breakfast can provide 30% of the energy which a person need for a day,the breakfast can not be ignored.What’s more not having breakfast can not make people become thinner but fatter.Because the people who don’t eat breakfast will be more hungry then those who eat breakfast,which make them to eat more at lunch.Last but not least,breakfast can help students to develop their mind more slim.To sum up students should have breakfast,then they will become healthier.
