拼写很棒,可适当增加学术词汇的使用;句法知识扎实,可适当增加长句的使用;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
According to a recent survey that there are 50% teenagers don’t have breakfast in Beijing. It is common that many students stay up late at night,and not having breakfast can save a lot of time for sleeping. And some parents are too busy to prepare breakfast for their children,which makes them give money to let their children buy breakfast by themselves.But many students just save the money to buy the things they want instead of having breakfast.Even worse,many girls don’t have breakfast so that they can become thinner. Unfortunately,the result of having no breakfast is that feeling sleepy all day long, being absent-minded and failing the exams. Since the breakfast can provide 30% of the energy which a person needs for a day,the breakfast can not be ignored.What’s more not having breakfast can not make people become thinner but fatter, because the people who don’t eat breakfast will be more hungry then those who eat breakfast,which makes them to eat more at lunch.Last but not least,breakfast can help students to develop their mind more creative.To sum up, students should have breakfast,then they will become healthier.