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可适当增加长句和复杂句的使用；作者词汇基础不错，同时请加强单词拼写的检查；语言不流畅；连词使用偏少。
Using mobile phones has become the usual way of keeping contact with famaily and friends during the past decades, which gives us more convinence and the great life style. Nowadays many students use moblie phones that are fashionable and colourful.However, using mobile phones has many disadvantages. Some students bring it to the class and make noises, send messages, surf the Internet and so on, which has an bad effect on others' study and waste their time. So, I would like to give my proposals to you to express my opinion. Firstly, students oughtn't to bring their phones to the class. The reason for it is that class is a place where we study sliently. In addition, students should be absorbed in studying knowledge. Last but not least, schools should take measures which contains punishment, regulation and education to limit the behaviour of using phones. These are my suggestions about it, I wish you could accept my advice and take actions. I am looking forward to your reply at your earliest convinence.
