文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;丰富从句的使用,文章会更出色;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
what are your favorite sport? to me, my favorite sport is playing football! football always brings me joy, it is not only a exciting game, but also can help me to learn now friends. one day, when i was on the way of home, i find a football and played it with my friends by chance, i love playing football deeply since that day, after that day, i often to play football with my friends both the new and the old, and even participate the football competition. today i find my dream through football, my dream is to be a professional football player, i also have a idol,he is David Beckham, i believe i will be successful as well as him, football let me to broaden my social circle and let me find my dream, i love it forever!