文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;语言不流畅;连词使用偏少。
Hello, everyone. I want to enter for president of student union competition. I introduce myself. My name is Garyko and from Class A, Grade Three. You choose me that is right, because I have these skill, please double review below content. First, I am good at communication, and coordination with strong organizational ability. For example, when I am Grade One, I am responsible for an English competition. My classmate said that this game is very interesting and success. Before the competition, I must to discuss with my teacher and president and apply for competition place. And I found some business customers that offered enough money to us. These customers include Bank Of China, China Mobile, China Book City and the Piano Association. Second, because my hobby is play basketball and reading, I will put my hobby into this job. I will organize student not only reading but also playing. In fact, if you choose me, I will do my best to do the president of student union. So, you choose me that is right.
人气:56发布:2013-10-27
人气:85发布:2013-11-14
人气:35发布:2013-11-23