文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,但学术词汇稍显不足;可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
Nowadays Internet has become extremely popular with us which accounts for a aboil discus about whether it is useful to us.In this essay I will explain it. Of course,some think that Internet is of great help to us including the increasing rate of study and working.In this way,the complex job can be done by us easily with the help of the Internet.And we can acquire the first information in time to take the quick action to deal with problems.What's more,Internet is a convenient tool to make new friends.However,every coin has two sides,others think that Internet makes youth addicted to it so their study is badly influenced.Even worse,Internet may consume most of valuable time and at the same time there are many bilk activities on the Internet. In my opinion,Internet is a double-edged sword,only we use properly can it have a good influence on us.