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语句间的衔接成分用的不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；文中词汇表达多样性不足，在高级词汇方面尤其要多积累；作者应适量增加从句的使用量。
it is my pleasure that my foreign friend will come to visit my hometown. i would like to tale him to the Shawan Baomo garden in my hometown.The reason why i take him there is because there is a really beautiful place .Firstly, there are many fresh flowers and trees in the garden ,he can feel relax himself in here and breath in a fresh air .Secondly, he also can enjoy the time of catching the little golden fish in the river .Thirdly, he not only can eat many different kinds of hometown food ,but also can visit a lot of place of interest in Baomo garden.Baomo garden is a very interesting place for him ,then i hope he will enjoy the time in here.
