文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;错误句子很少,但从句使用不熟练;全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
When it comes to the famous scenic spots ,Labor Park is absolutely an interesting place for sightseeing.My hometown is a splendid and quiet city by the sea,among so many attractive and well-kown sightseeing spots ,why I choose Labor Park is not only because of its glorious scenery but also its long history.The park is by the sea,and the square is great and beautiful.During the summer day ,many people will swim in the clean blue seawater.And in the evening ,old people will dance in the square,the children will do sports,and the young couple will date and walk along the park.Everyone there can enjoy the comfort of cool sea breeze.In the park,you can feel the real life of my hometown and relax yourself.I am really looking forward your visit to my hometown.