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恰当的使用了过渡词和衔接词，衔接手法做的很棒；作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇，建议要多使用高级词汇；句式变化较为明显，可适当增加从句的使用。
When I get the information that you are going to take a vacation in my hometown,I am happy. As we all know,there are many famous places of interest in China.At the moment you get there,I will go to the river named Nandu with you,which is the most beautiful place of my hometown. A great many people come to here to spend their holiday for its clean air as well as the beautiful view. It symbolizes the life and hope .In my hometown, the people who is making their life depending on it,regards it as their mother,and pretents it from pollution.It is the people lived next to it that it still can be clean. Along it ,not only can you enjoy the sun ,but also you can relax yourself. In my opinion,I am sure you will like this wonderful experience,and I assure you that this trip will be of great fun.
