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作者要注意增加使用高级词汇，单词拼写做的挺好；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；上下文衔接不流畅，文章结构不严谨。
A bracelet “Sandy, happy birthday to you! ” “Thank you. July, may I open it now?” “Sure, I hope you will like it.” Staring at that green jade bracelet, be impeccable in its simplicity, you smiled at me, a girl dreamed of being a lapidary, who had been a famous lapidary nowadays. “Oh, July!” “Come on in, July.” Your mother opened the door, who is a really lovely lady. Twenty years ago, I stood in front of your house with little Kitty, a cat we kept toghter. “Sandy has waited you for a long time. How is it going? Is your mother feeling better now?” “Thank you, mom feels better after taking medicine.” I tried to make myself seem to be happy.” She will be well soon. And I take little Kitty to see Sandy, which she had desired.” “July!” It’s who you are, yelling my name from second-storey window,” Come on, my dad is here too!” Your mother smiled and sent me to the second floor.” Sweeter, I will give something to you. Once, I call you, just come down.” Before I entered the room, your mom said to me secretly, tipping me a wink. Then you suddenly opened the door. ”mom~” Even at the age of fifteen, you still looked like a real little girl with curly hair and big blue eyes, which had to stay at home most of the time for your congenital heart disease and can’t . It’s why you were fond of animals, as you said you like but not allowed to keep one. You led me to the room and greeted to little Kitty. After exchanging of conventional greetings with your father, you picked up the topic firstly as I expected, which your innocent eyes looked at your father. You begged him to appreciate the little things, like old copper cash and bracelet, which we brought for fun in the antique street. I was too nervous to hold my breath and didn't had time to notice anything else until your father congratulating to me after looking carefully. “July, it's god who is helping you! That bracelet is worth for $5000.” Yes, it’s, god didn’t give up me and my sick mother. Until long after do I understand that you are the one god sent to me, instead of the bracelet. “July.“ Your mother was calling me on the ground floor. I was still in a state of shock and moving to the stairs in unconsciously, leaving you, your father and kitty in a room. “If I noticed your plan at that time, what would you do or explain to me?” You looked at me with your blue eyes as usual, smiling and shaking your head.” At the age of fifteen, you were just as stubborn as your family and insisted not to receive any charity for your mother’s large medicine charge. It’s only way that I thought you might accept it. But it’s no need for you to buy such a bracelet to as a return, July, you are my best friend.” “Made up an expensive bracelet, tried to send me away, pretend playing with Kitty and break the bracelet by mistake and compensated.” “You still find the truth at last.” “Did you find that I finish play that play for you finally? You are my best friend!”
