过渡词很丰富,衔接词同时使用的恰到好处;作者句法基本功不错,可适当增加从句的使用;文章用词灵活多样,学术词汇使用也比较准确。
From what is detailedly demonstrated by the bar chart above,we can observe distinctly that it is with the remarkable development of economy and society that the trend of electricity consumption has a steady increase in a small city in China.Especially,compared with the 2006,the volume of the 2007 raised significantly from 4.7 million kilowatt hour to 5.26 kilowatt hour. Apparently,there are numerous reasons accounting for the phenomenon and on the basis of my judgment,three factors are contributed to it importantly.In the first place,most of the enterprises which benefited from the favourable policies issued by the government has expanded the scale of production from 2004 to 2007 in that the investment environment of the small city has become better with each passing day. In the second place,in order to establish a new image of the city,authority advocates that the buildings of the firms,shops,supermarkets and so on should remain the light over the whole night.In the third place,a great number of the people who have a good financial status and enough time usually have more and more entertainments including dancing,sing,playing games and so on in the leisure time than before.Consequently,the electric consumption rises dramatically. I believe that with the development of China,the electricity consumption will increase in the forthcoming years.On the one hand,every Chinese people should devote his diligence and wisdom to our country so as to improve our comprehensive strength.On the other hand,everybody should save the electricity carefully to avoid wasting our resources.
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