作者应适量增加从句的使用量;文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词,结构比较严谨;请注意增加词汇量的积累,排除文中的拼写错误。
In conclusion,both sides are reasonable,nonetheless they are one-sided.In my opinion,hosting the Olympics at a permanent home has a great deal of advantages and disadvantages.In my opnion,the host Olympicss beyond all discusion ,but we should make sure that let the every country has the rights of hosting the olympics.in conclusion,both sides are reasonable.But they are one-sided.In my opinion,hosting the Olympics at a permanent home has a great deal of advantages and disadvantages.In my opnion,the host Olympicss beyond all discusion ,but we should make sure that let the every country has the rights of hosting the olympics.