若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;作者词汇表达不够多样,希望能多使用高级词汇;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用。
Xu ben yu is a boy, a postgraduate of the agricultural university. He was born in Shandong of Liaocheng in 1982. He went to Dafang poverty-stricken areas in guizhou to supported education obligatory in July 2003. Under his influence, it was taken up by five of his pupils and many other university students. Rencently, sevral school has a great improvement in Dafang poverty-stricken areas in guizhou, here's Education condition had the very big change.