文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用高级词汇就更好了;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Believe in Yourself,And You Will Win One night in August when I was doing my physics exercises,I encounter a difficult problem. Forty minutes passed I still couldn't work it out.. The answer was on the last few pages of the book. How I wanted to see the answer! But our teacher told us to do our homework by ourselves! My sister was in senior Two. Then she wanted to help me. But I refused. I studied the note and read my text book again and again. Finally,from one example my teacher gave us,I worked the problem out! How happy I was! Now friends,remember “Believe in yourself,and you will win.”