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简单句型过多，从句使用不熟练；文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用高级词汇就更好了；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Believe in Yourself，And You Will Win Our life is very good now then you can enjoy the life.But everyone's way always has some troubles.As myself with an example. One night in August when I was doing my physics exercises，I encounter a difficult problem. Forty minutes passed I still couldn't work it out. The answer was on the last few pages of the book. How I wanted to see the answer! But our teacher told us to do our homework by ourselves! My sister was in senior Two. Then she wanted to help me. But I refused. I studied the note and read my text book again and again. Finally，from one example my teacher gave us，I worked the problem out! How happy I was! Now friends，remember “Believe in yourself，and you will win.”
