语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;作者在句法层面做的很棒;文章词汇表达丰富,不过请增加高级词汇的使用。
It is exciting that one of me foreign friend who's name Lily from England will come to China and visit my hometown,I will plan to introduce our hometown interesting place to her,lily was arrived here yesterday,and I plan to guide her 2 nice places to go. My hometown is YouXian,ZHUZHOU,HUHAN,which is a long history, well,the first place is the funny hill where behind my house,this hill haven't any big tree,there are most yellow sand,it has most of my childhood,when I was a little girl,after class over we was running in here with my classmate, we can breath the fresh air and enjoy free,we was running one hill to another hill,we even steal potatoes to bake in this hill after school, it is really a very nice place.I think lily will like this place,because we can sit on one of hill to breath the fresh air and talk our,happy,and unhappy things,we can relax ourselves complete to each other. The second place is the stream,there are many fishes in here,this stream widely just 1 -2 meter, the water is not deep,the water is used for our hometown banker,so it is very long through our banker,there are many shrimps and fish,when I was little girl,we always get fish and shrimp in here,I think lily will intereted here, because we can go to the stream to catch fish or swimming in here,we can also walk to around the stream to see my hometown banker,those banker bring me up,and give me wisdom,and it including my hometown farmer's labor. I love this 2 interesting places,because they are contians my childhood,I think lily like them too.