文中衔接词和过渡词使用的很棒;从句使用很不错,再接再厉;文中词汇较灵活,但要注意积累高级词汇,拼写错误也要注意。
In the real world , you can usually see the picture which a wealthy person is somehow alone and unhappy and then have a smoke or drink beer or even take drugs to reduce the complicated emotion, however , on the other hand, a poor person which suffer from some difficulties sometimes such as a financial problem and so on have a happly life because of the ability of dealing with that problems. In actually, Happiness is not perfect that is not the absence of problems as Freedom which is not absolute. If a man want to sing song loudly in the dorm not only beonging to him in order to his happiness, it is selfish not real happy because your happiness leads to other's unhappiness and concludes a bad and unpleasant relationship. How to change those problems? First, You should face the fact that Happiness is not the absence of problems and perfect. Then, you should learn the ability to deal with those problems . you should keep a optimistic attitude and then build a good relationship by spending more time in geting along with other. Finally, i believe you will have a real happiness.