作者词汇基础扎实;文中应适当增加从句和长难句的使用;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
As our contemporary society develops dramatically,a serious problem has sprung up that the impact of the Internet on interpersonal communication.A funny thing is about a litter girl and her father.When a litter girl go home from school,her father ask her,"how are you going on today in school?sweet girl."To my surprise,the girl says,"you can get that from my blog."What a funny phenomenon,i believe there are a lot of such things in our daily life. Undeniably,Internet has bring various convenient to communicate with others,and support a great many information and knowledge for us.However,anything has two sides,it not only bring a kind of benefits but also bring many negative aspects in our life.Increasing number of people ,especially the young students,have willing communicate with others in Internet,such as QQ-chating and so on.If situation situation is going on,these people will become indifferent to their parents or their friends. Consequently,we need play more attention on this serious issue.We need spend more time with our parents and friends.We should believe that a good relationship don't depend on the cold computer,it need a sincere heard.
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