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文中词汇表达多样性不足，在高级词汇方面尤其要多积累；可适当增加长句和复杂句的使用；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用。
I,one of the commonest persons in the world, want to get happiness as anybody wants.and the way to get it is not to absence the big problems but to deal with it. As everyone knows,we have different problems all the time.Sometimes we can deal with it easily but sometimes not.But we have to face the problems we can not deal with to show our determinations.We should try to do much as we can do which inspire us to get happiness.Maybe we can not deal with it so perfect, but we have tried our best.So no pity left.When i try to deal with problems,i can pick up many things i would ever think i can get,such as,friendship,carefulness,of course,happiness. It does not matter whether you can deal with problems or not.The most crucial thing is the ability to deal with them
