有效地采用了多种衔接方法,层次清晰;作者句法知识掌握的错误,可适当增加从句的使用;作者词汇基础扎实,拼写也很棒。
In recent years, more and more college students begin to take part-time jobs in their spare time to earn pocket money or even education fees by themselves and such a phenomenon has caused numerous heated debates among the people around us. From my standpoint, taking part-time jobs has advantages as well as disadvantages. As a social activity, a part-time job certainly offers college students substantial practice, which is crucial to them after they graduate and go to their work posts. Besides, income earned from part-time jobs can solve their financial problems, especially for those who come from poor-stricken areas. Moreover, with part-time jobs, college students can put what they have learned from their books into use, thus connecting theories with practice and making abstract knowledge concrete and practical. However, since part-time jobs take much of the students' time that must originally be spent on their studies, those who take them waste a great deal of time, therefore, their academic performance is tremendously affected. According to some worried sociologists, the duty of students is to acquire as much knowledge as possible so that they could better serve the society after their graduation. As a result, such people deem part-time jobs, which are regarded contradictory to study, as “not attending to one's proper duties”. Admittedly, people rarely reach an absolute consensus on such a controversial issue. From my point of view, so long as college students put their courses first and concentrate on their studies while at school, certain amount of time spent on part-time jobs is not incorrect. I think the most important for them to do is to balance the two aspects well and give priority to study if the two contradict each other.