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文章学术词汇使用熟练，词汇表达较为丰富；句式变化多样，句法方面做的很棒；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
A strong will is a guarantee of success. It’s very likely that one may give up halfway without a strong will, in that we may face difficulties and troubles in large numbers while achieving our goal. A strong will and perseverance are what make us stick to the end. Throughout human history, there are many examples of people with strong will. Many initial inventions or breakthroughs in human history are based on numerous times of failure and setbacks. Had it not been for these people’s strong will, some of the important scientific or medical findings or inventions might have been delayed for another hundred or even thousand years. And in some very special period in human history, without people’s strong will, the development of human civilization would have been reversed to a certain degree. In terms of academic study, only those with a strong will can devote themselves to hard work because they firmly believe that hard work will pay off and only through perseverance and persistent can a person achieve his goal and fulfill his dream.
