可适当增加从句的使用;文章层次不够分明,缺少组织,需注意文章整体的组织结构;作者平时练习中应扩充词汇量,注意几处拼写错误。
Nowadys new things appear more and more. Among these, online shoping is approved and accepted by more and more people. people purchase more and more by internet. And online shopping has become a fashion. Online shoping benefits us in many ways and also has many disadvantages. Online shopping can save our time. We can make our choice in many kinds of commodities. So every one can find commodity he or her wants to buy. On the other hand ,because we can't touch commodity, we might be confused by superficial information so as to purchase wrong thing. Security problem also is a challenge. sometimes you has paid for commodity but you can't resive it. As far as i am concerned, we should biger our eye and purchase online carefully. We should make good use of online shopping.