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采用了适当的衔接手法，层次清晰；可适当增加高级词汇的使用量；句式变化较为明显，可适当增加从句的使用。
Nowdays,Online Shopping is becoming a tide in our life.In the past,when we find we are lacking in something,we must go to the supermarket or store nearby,but thesedays,a great number of us can go online shopping. Online Shopping benefits us a lot.On one side，it is more convenient than the traditional way cause we can pay for the things we want anytime and any where.On the other side,it provides more choices so we can finder the things most consistent with what we want.However,there are also many problems with online shopping.We cannot see the real product or touch it,so there's possibility that we may cheats by the sellers if their product is fake.When holidays are coming,the sellers always cheat the shoppers by giving a discount after increasing the price.What’s more，Online Shopping will affect the profit of the real shops in the streets，thus doing harm to the development of economy. In my point of view,we should learn to tell from the fake advertisements and information when shopping online.If we are cheated by sellers,use laws to protect ourselves.
