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过渡词很丰富，衔接词同时使用的恰到好处；作者词汇基础不错，在高级词汇的积累上还要再接再厉，要加强拼写；文中应适当增加从句和长难句的使用。
As is vividly shown above,in the darkness happily stands a candles,spreading shining lightness and it signifies a symbol of love involved in who're suffering deplorable situation.Recently, an overwhelming of people get themselves involved in all kinds of events to show their love. When the WenChuan earthquake took place,a quantity of people from various lines throwed themselves into the unavoided diaster help with diaster relieving for free.And meanwhile,after the earthquake,a large number of children became homeless.Still,the group not only lacked of sufficent education but also had not the capability to support themselves.In the very grieving situation,governments spared enormous properties to settle these group properly and many people adopt them.With the love in our hearts,the more deplorable the situations is ,then,the more bright the world would be. As far as I'm concerned,volunteer signifies not only solidrity and responsebility but also warm the world.So as a youngster with warm-heart,the best way to show love is actively getting engaged in the volunteer activities such as Hope Project、caring for elders and its like.Volunteer not only benefits people being hleped but also people who serve the help.Because during the volunteer,we can put what we learned into practice.Hence,volunteer is a win-win pattern too.So let's do the volunters!
